Wednesday, December 27, 2006

Muh Muh Muh My Generation

Oh the good old days.
We didn't have to wear seat belts, in fact our Buick didn't have any. I think Mom and Dad cut them out because they were always getting in the way. We made "Creeple People" with the "Thing machine" that used scalding water and molten plastic. Easy Bake ovens could burn you. Our Dads could make us fabulous "wagons" that had no brakes and they never went to jail for it. "Small parts, not meant for children under three" Oh fiddlesticks! I thrived on a steady diet of Barbie shoes and who doesnt remember the splintery tastiness of Lincoln Logs? Play-Doh was always saved for desert. We had model cars and toys made of metal; heavy things that could easily knock out a sibbling or a pal that you have suddenly decided to hate.

We were sold cereals that proudly boasted of their sugar content in their names. "Nuclear" and "Atomic" were good words. They meant progress, not tumors. Above all, we were swindled! We were blatantly lied to! It was wonderful and we kept coming back for more. How many packages of Sea Monkeys did YOU get before the words "brine shrimp" finally sunk in?

As an adult, I did receive some as a birthday gift. I kept them in a jar, just two survived but happened to be male and female. They had babies! I had sea monkeys for months but was never able to teach them any tricks except for how to swim in the toilet once their jar needed cleaning.


bix said...

Creeple People! I think I remember them! Was there a freezer involved in the process? I've been trying to remember what these things were that I had as a child, involving plastic molds and colored goopy liquid to make gummy-type creatures. As I recall, we used to cure them in the freezer...

Monster A Go-Go said...

How right you are... And thanks for the go-go groovy flashbacks! Geri was right--your blogs are fun. (You should consider crossing over to the dark side and getting a --GASP!--MySpace! There are blogs there as well...)


Rotundra said...

You might be confusing "Creeple People" with "Incredible Edibles" Creeple people were not intended to be eaten. They were supposed to adorn your pencils and make you the coolest at school. The only thing incredible about the latter is that anybody found them edible. Yeah they involved a freezer, or a morgue or something like that. I forget.
The absolute worst case of "Here kiddies you can make dog terds even if you don't have a dog!" Had to be the "Pretzel Jetzel"
My sister, (being older than me and I never let her forget that) got the whole thing sat up. I won it for being on the "Art Linkletter Show" (what a fascinating life I've had and as you can see, I've always been paid handsomely)
This thing was so darned cute, looked like a little swiss chalet (and I love everything that is Swiss)
In goes the batter, into little pretzel molds
hey wait, pretzels don't require molds

They do if they're made of rat droppings

Absolutely disgusting shit. And to think that the FDC deprives our kids of these joys today!

Hey I found a dead bird in my yard... is it anybody's birthday? Who's got a candle? I'd like a party!

Monster A Go-Go said...

Incredible Edibles! I ALWAYS wanted that as a kid! Gross, huh? Thanks for bursting my bubble... HA!
Actually, (and SHHH!!! This is a secret I don't share with just anyone), there was a similar thing on the market about 10 years ago called "DOCTOR DREADFUL'S FREAKY FOOD LABORATORY" where you could make gross-out yet edible concoctions. A friend had convinced me to go hit a bunch of yard sales with her one day and I found a DOCTOR DREADFUL set relatively unused and (GASP!) bought it. It say under my bed for ages (I was too lazy to actually read the instructions and make anything) until one day i finally decided to go for it ...and found out all of the gruesome ingredient packets had passed their expiration dates! Ha! So much for capturing part of my missed childhood that way...

Bix Gomez said...

Incredible Edibles! Yes, that must be what I am remembering:

First they went into the oven, then into the freezer.

Or, was it Creepy Crawlers:

I was born in '67, so it had to have been something that was still around in 1973 or 1974...

Rotundra said...

Mmmmmm, I'm salivating! I'm sure that all these toys were a way for food manufacturers to get rid of the "Icky stuff"
After all, the pet food manufacurers have their limits.

Bix Gomez said...

Hey I found a site I think you might like:

I this it while searching for an old Sony open reel video machine that was used to videotape, in glorious black and white, a play I was in back in 6th grade.


Batgurrrl said...

OMG so true about the Sea Monkeys. I don't recall Creeple People, but we did have "Fun Flowers" Thing Maker, where you had a metal plate that fit into a tiny stove and different colors of goop. We also had "Creepy Crawlies" Thing Maker (made v kewl spiders & bugs), and you could put fuzz on the spiders. Bestest toy! Thanks for sharing your story. Loved part about your diet of Barbie shoes. lol

Fun Flowers commercial-

Creepy Crawlies commercial -