Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Nothing Cuter

"Nothing cuter than a monkey with a dildo!" This is what I keep saying ad nauseum to anybody that I instant message on Yahoo.
I don't know where I found this image or who originally photoshopped it. Feel free to contact or sue me. I would love to meet you as I have gotten such joy from it.

I have made this my avatar on Yahoo IM.

I find myself, at times when I'm not sure what to say, just typing "Nothing cuter than a monkey with a dildo". Sometimes I just can't help it, I look over and it all hits me: the innocence, the joy. It's so sweet.

I understand the smile on his face because I too, have a Hello Kitty vibrator! It's not really a DILDO, but the size is plenty for George, and he's so happy because he knows it's very rare and special.
You see Hello Kitty was just an image that Sanrio liscensed for a fee. Sanrio wasn't real discriminating. I think the direct translation of their motto to Engrish was "We like money very good! Sign contract, more money! More money make more happy. We like happy."
This is why you used to see stores like Hot Topic sporting Hello Kitty punk gear. Sometimes they even had Kitty doing things like flipping the bird. They probably told the geniuses at Sanrio "This is how Americans say 'Yay Japan!'"

There is a Hello Kitty gun, Vespa, car, tooth caps and I hear there is a coffin but have not confirmed that. I know for certain that there is / was a Hello Kitty vibrator; I'm looking at my very own. Sanrio finally got a clue and realized that they had pimped Kitty carelessly, the most obvious example being the sex toy. They tried to stop production but legally could not. They diligently sought any way that they could bring this manufacturer of meat substitutes down and fianlly did. TAXES!
Pleasure Kitty is no longer being made. Mine is very rare, she is sitting on my computer staying warm. She has never been out of the box (ahem, packaging) until last night. My son came in...

"Mommy you never use that pen."
"It's not a pen."
"What is it?"
"Um, it's a ...personal massager... Yeah, for sore shoulders and stuff!"
"I want to try!!!"
"No, no no! It's a collector's item! Never been out of the box (ahem, packaging)
"Please Mom!! I promise I'll be careful!"
I become aware that my son is begging me to let him use my vibrator.
"Well... OK, just this once!"
I had to show him how to turn it on.
He held it to his shoulder, then neck then made some really innapropriate giggling sounds and coments on how it tickled. Then he was done.
"See Mommy, I didn't break it!"
I put Kitty back in her box, ahem... packaging.

Nothing cuter than a monkey with a dildo.

1 comment:

Razberries said...

oh. my. god.
you crack me up!!!